“Just Come for a Little Bit”: How to Respond to Pressures During the Holiday Season
The holiday season is officially here, and if you’re anything like me, this time of year can feel busy, emotional, and downright demanding. The holidays tend to stir up complex feelings tied to family, relationships, expectations (both ours and others’), and the subtle or not-so-subtle pressure to show up. But sometimes? Showing up feels like the last thing you want, or need, to do.
Let’s talk about some ways to honor your capacity this season and set boundaries with care, especially when you’re feeling nudged to “just come for a little bit.”
If you’ve worked with me for any amount of time, you already know this: I love canned responses.
A canned response is simply something you prepare ahead of time. Practicing them helps you feel grounded when a moment catches you off guard. Instead of reacting from anxiety or offering an answer you regret later, you can lean on your “script.” It’s one of my favorite tools for managing stress around conversations that feel tricky or emotionally charged.
Below, you’ll find tips, reflection prompts, and a collection of canned responses to support you as you navigate holiday plans, invitations, and boundaries.
Capacity vs. Capability
Let’s pause here, because these two are important and different:
Capacity = the amount you can hold (your time, energy, bandwidth).
Capability = your ability to do something (your availability or physical ability to participate).
You might have the capability to attend holiday events but not the capacity to manage one more commitment. Or you might have the capacity, but not the capability because you already have plans that day. Sometimes you have one, sometimes both, sometimes neither. So check in with yourself:
What is your capacity this season? What is your capability?
It’s Okay to Choose Rest
I know it’s easier said than done to choose rest, especially when invitations come from people you love. But I want you to consider this:
If you push past your capacity now, what will the impact be once the holidays are over?
Many people end this season emotionally and physically depleted. The “holiday crash” is real. But what if things could feel different this year? What if you allowed yourself to prioritize rest at the end of a long, full year? Let’s create some room for that possibility.
Practice Responses Ahead of Time
Once you’ve identified your needs, practice what you want to say. If your calendar already feels full, or if certain events feel draining, rehearsing your responses can make it easier to say them when the moment comes.
Practicing doesn’t make you rigid, it makes you grounded. And it reduces the pressure to respond “just right” in the moment.
Give Yourself a Moment to Feel Centered before Responding
Good news: you do not have to respond immediately.
And no, that doesn’t mean ghosting people or pretending you didn’t see the text. It means giving yourself permission to take a breath, consider what you want, and ask for a moment to think before you answer.
It might feel uncomfortable to say, “Let me think about it,” but that discomfort is often easier than having to backtrack later. And remember: it is okay if someone feels disappointed when you decline. Their disappointment does not mean you’ve done something wrong.
You might be thinking, “Sure… but you don’t know my family.” I get it. Sometimes giving in feels easier than navigating guilt. But compromising your needs often comes with its own cost, and you deserve better than that.
Avoid Over-explaining
One of my favorite reminders: “No” is a complete sentence.
You can be polite without detailing your emotional state, energy levels, or overwhelm. If you’re explaining because you feel guilty or you're trying to manage their reaction, that’s a sign you’re going beyond what’s yours to carry.
It may feel unfamiliar at first; most new boundaries do! However, just because it feels unfamiliar doesn’t mean it's wrong.
Use Short Statements
As Brené Brown beautifully puts it: “Clear is kind.”
When we feel uncomfortable, we tend to overtalk. Try keeping it simple and direct. What you say is enough, even if it’s brief.
Canned Responses
Use these exactly as written, or adapt them to fit your voice.
If you’re declining an invitation:
“Thanks for the invitation! I’m not able to come, but I hope it’s a wonderful time.”
“I’m keeping things simple this year and not overloading my schedule. I can’t make it, but thank you for thinking of me.”
“I won’t be able to make it.”
“I’m not up for that this year.”
“I’m not available, but thank you for the invite.”
“I know myself well enough to know that would be too much.”
If you need more time to decide:
“Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”
“Let’s plan something after the holidays when things slow down.”
“I’ll let you know once I have a better sense of my holiday plans.”
“I need to pause before I decide. I’ll circle back with you by [DATE].”
“I’m not sure yet. Can I get back to you?”
“I’m figuring out what I have space for. I’ll let you know soon.”
“I want to give an honest answer, so I’m going to take a little time before I commit.”
If you receive pushback:
“I care about you, and I’m sitting this one out.”
“I hear that you’d love for me to come. My answer is still the same.”
“I understand the disappointment. I’m still not able to join.”
“I appreciate the invitation. My plans aren’t going to change.”
“I’m not able to come, even for a little bit.”
“I know this is important to you. I’m still unable to attend.”
Remember: You’ve Got This!
Navigating the holidays with honesty, care, and boundaries is an act of self-respect, and it’s okay if it still feels uncomfortable or hard at times. You’re learning to honor your limits in real time, and that’s not always easy! You are allowed to choose rest, you are allowed to choose what supports your well-being, and you are allowed to show up in ways that feel sustainable for you.
If this season feels heavy, complicated, or just plain overwhelming, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Reach out to Willow Counseling if you’d like support, a place to process, or help building boundaries that actually feel doable. I’m here to walk with you as you create space for healing, intention, and care, especially during seasons that ask a lot of you. 🤍🫶