Have You Considered Setting Intentions *Without* a Timeline?

Well, we’re officially a few weeks into 2026, and you may still be feeling the buzz that often shows up at the beginning of a new year. Around this time, I often check in with clients using a “look back, look ahead” approach. We take time to reflect on the past year, identifying what felt supportive, what didn’t, and where you can feel proud of yourself for how you navigated difficult moments.

From there, we look ahead and talk about what intentions you might want to carry into the new year.

The kicker, though? We intentionally get rid of the timeline of shoulds, whether that’s related to achieving vague goals or the idea that 2026 will only be a success if a specific outcome happens. So let’s talk about how to set meaningful intentions while letting go of arbitrary timelines that tend to create more pressure than support.

Are You Struggling with Invisible Timelines?

You might be thinking, “Okay, but shouldn’t I have some way to measure progress?”
Yes, absolutely! Reflection and awareness matter. However, if you notice yourself getting stuck in the shoulds like:

 “I should be less anxious by now.”
“I should be able to do this without struggling so much.”
“By [insert random date], I’ll cope differently and be rid of my old habits.”

Then those invisible pressures may not be supporting you in the way you hoped they would. It can be helpful to pause and ask yourself whether you’re holding yourself to a standard that’s tied to a timeline that doesn’t actually reflect your capacity, season of life, or lived experience.

I often hear women talk about the exhaustion that comes from trying to make a lot of changes in a short period of time, and the frustration that follows when old patterns resurface. This is where slowing down matters. Growth doesn’t adhere to a calendar year, and it definitely doesn’t follow a neat, predictable path.

Timeline Expectations

Many people set timelines that feel realistic, but aren’t actually structured in a way that supports sustainable growth. “New year, new me” timelines, in particular, tend to skip over the messy middle where change actually occurs.

These timelines can create invisible pressure, unhelpful comparison to others, and an urgency to “just get it together.” Shame often follows when you’re not meeting the markers you set for yourself. When shame enters the picture, growth stalls. Not because you aren’t trying hard enough, but because pressure has replaced care.

Healing and growth don’t follow a specific timeline, and they rarely align with the new year’s calendar. You’ve probably heard the phrase “growth isn’t linear,” and while that’s true, it can be easy to forget what that actually looks like in real life.

One of my favorite reminders comes from Isra Al-Thibeh:

“Darling, the moon is still the moon in all of its phases.”

It’s a thoughtful reflection of self-acceptance that honors who you are, even as you change. Healing often offers insight gradually, and sometimes only in hindsight. It’s important to remember that gradual change doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

Managing Intentions vs. Expectations

Setting an intention, rather than an expectation, is often a much softer and more supportive way to approach change. Intentions allow space for growth without fixating on how far you still have to go.

Here’s an example:

Expectation:
I won’t have any more panic attacks by summertime.

This is a pass/fail goal and it leaves little room for growth or compassion if panic attacks still occur.

Intention:
I intend to notice when my anxiety is increasing and practice using my coping skills in those moments.

This is grounding and tangible. It builds awareness and self-compassion, even if anxiety still shows up.

Notice the difference? The pressure decreases. Perfection is no longer the goal. It challenges the all-or-nothing belief that success only exists if panic attacks disappear entirely.

Maybe you’ve gone from five panic attacks a month to one. That is a huge shift. If we’re only measuring “panic attacks vs. no panic attacks,” that progress gets missed. But if we’re measuring your intention to check in with yourself and use coping skills, you’re doing meaningful work!

Subtle reframes like this can be powerful. They help reduce guilt, prevent discouragement, and remind you that building awareness isn’t meant to punish you, it’s meant to care for you. Sustainable change is hard enough without battling yourself along the way.

So, Now What?

This season can be an opportunity to pause and notice what pressures you’re carrying, especially as the year begins. Try reflecting on these questions without getting caught in over-thinking:

• If I removed the timeline, what would I want for myself?

• What pace feels sustainable and supportive right now?

• What does honoring this intention look like in small, ordinary moments?

Sustainable change takes time, care, and compassion… for yourself and for past ways of coping that once served a purpose. You don’t need an arbitrary timeline to decide whether you’re succeeding. You need space to return to your intention and recognize the effort you’re making along the way.

If you need support as you move through 2026, reach out to Willow Counseling when you’re ready for support that feels grounded and intentional. 🫶🏼